


Definition Of Love

by camilasbeautifulmind



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, deals with homophobia, definition of love, loving yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 09:21:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12362613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camilasbeautifulmind/pseuds/camilasbeautifulmind
Summary: "Love is the most venomous poison mija, so be careful of how you take it and give it."She was always indecisive, usually needed others opinions to make choices, and was never really sure of what she actually wanted. But the one thing that she really knew and wouldn't even think of questioning was that she, Lauren Jauregui, was completely in love with Camila Cabello.





	Definition Of Love

The rippling of the first puddle. The second. The third. Her shoes soaked wet, sticking to her feet. Her breath out of control, heavily twitching.

"Fuck," she looked at her feet, cursing her shoes for the squeaky sounds they were making.

She turned her head quickly to the right, looked behind herself and recognized three other figures at a further distance, which was beginning to shrink. Her eyes widened and she felt her heart begin to beat faster. She looked back to the front and felt the panic running through her body more and more, trying to swallow her, as she realized she did not know where this path would lead her.

"Stop running away, you whore!"

She wheezed and tried to increase her pace. Her legs ached, her heart pounded and she pressed her fingers into a fist to bring the trembling under control.

Just as she was about to round a corner, the next puddle she stepped into made her right foot slip, making her gasp, causing her body to loose it's balance and her knee first to make an impact with the ground, ripping the fabric of her jeans in the process. But it happened too fast for Lauren to realize it. The only thing she was aware of was the sudden stinging on her left knee, feeling like someone was trying to burn her skin with fire.

"She fell, get her! Get her!"

She immidiately ignored the feeling and pulled the weight of her body up with her arms, regaining the balance in her feet and continued running as fast as she could, looking behind herself again when she heard the splashing of water getting louder.

"I'm going to fucking kill you when I get you, Jauregui! Stop fucking running, cunt! Stop fucking running!"

The green-eyed girl felt the lump in her throat begging to extend. She felt like she was seconds away from choking on the air she was breathing in.

She ran past the fence of a familiar house, breathing out a sigh again when she saw the slightly opened front door of the garden shred. Looking behind herself again, she made sure to increase her pace even more and run another round around the house to make the boys lose her path.

When the only sounds Lauren could still hear were those of her heartbeat pulsing through her ears and her feet stepping into the puddles and the only thing she could see, was an empty sidewalk behind herself, she gathered all the strength she had left in her body to run to the garden shred.

Once she closed the door, she leaned her back against it, closing her eyes and heavily breathing through her mouth, her chest heaving up and down.

When she opened them again, the first thing she saw was her best friend standing a few feet away from her, looking right back at her with crossed arms and an unimpressed expression.

"Made it again," Lauren chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and calm herself down.

Dinah raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?", she asked irritated.

"Uhm...yes? What's the problem?"

The blonde-haired girl looked at her in disbelief, opening her mouth and uncrossing her arms. "Are you kidding me? Lauren, what the fuck? You know exactly what the problem is!"

Lauren flinched, holding out her hands. "Okay, okay. No need to shout at me," she sighed, clenching her jaw and looking around the room, trying to keep her pain inside. She didn't want to cry anymore.

"I know what the problem is Dinah, okay? I fucking know what it is. But what am I supposed to do, huh? I can't change it, okay?"

"Of course you can!"

"No, I can't!"

"Yes, you can! You just don't fucking want to," Dinah responded angrily, pointing at her to empathize her point.

The silence of the green-eyed girl made her continue. "Lauren, you and I both know you can't go on living like this. You can tell me you're 'okay' and that you're 'handling the situation' and I won't believe _anything_. Because I know how much this is hurting you, okay? This is not a little problem that has been only lasting for a while. This is a serious issue that should have been stopped as soon as it started. I'm really starting to worry about your health, Lauren. This is not normal anymore."

The older girl sighed again, letting her friends words sink in, resting the weight of her head against the door. Suddenly, everything was starting to feel heavy on her.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, trying to answer without her voice cracking, but failing while doing so. "It's only one more year, Dinah. Only one more year of high school and then I'm free. Everything is going to be different."

Dinah looked at the floor, trying to keep her own tears in at the thought of the pain her best friend had to go through. She looked into her eyes again, realizing that Lauren knew what she was going to say. Her gaze was begging her not to utter the words, but only the hard truth can prepare you for the even harder reality.

"Nothing is going to change, Lauren. Even after this year, you're still going to be gay. And you always will be."

*

"Lauren, mija, this is the third time in one month that you fell into a puddle," her mother scolded her, squishing the water out of the towel she was holding in her hands before proceeding to whipe her daughters dirt-covered face with it.

The green-eyed girl sighed, looking down at the floor while tugging on the fabric of her shirt with her hands. "I know," she answered.

"How many times have I told you to be careful? What if you hit your head and get hurt badly?" Her mom was starting to get angrier.

"My school bag is really heavy. It makes me lose my balance sometimes."

Clara stopped cleaning Laurens face, trying to make her look into her eyes.

"I know you're lying to me, Lauren. You leave your heavy books at school and you wouldn't lose your balance like that if you were walking slowly."

The 17-year-old girl stayed silent for a few seconds. "I _was_ walking slowly."

Lauren's mother raised an eyebrow, looking down at her in disbelief.

Lauren stared right back, sighing when she realized the older woman wouldn't believe her. "Okay, I wasn't," she confessed, looking right back at the floor after that.

"Lauren, I don't understand why you-"

"The weather was getting worse, I didn't have an umbrella and I wanted to be home as soon as possible, okay? That's it. I know you told me to be careful because of the slippery ground and I did try to be as much as possible, but I slipped at a corner and fell." She let all of the first things that came to her head out.

"You should've just called me. I could've picked you up from school," Clara responded.

"I know, I'm sorry. I forgot."

Now her mother was the one sighing, throwing the dirty towel into the sink and getting up, holding her hand out to the green-eyed girl to help her standing up. "This is going to be the last time, okay? If I see you hurt one more time, I'm going to have to talk to your school about it. I'm seriously starting to think you're lying to me, Lauren. And you know that we don't accept lies in this family."

She winced, trying to ignore the burning on her knee. "Yes, mom."

Clara opened up her arms, welcoming her daughter in a warm embrace.

Lauren wrapped her arms around the older womans waist, putting her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes for a moment to calm her still rapidly beating heart down. When she opened them again, the only thing she saw was the white wall of the bathroom and the only thing she heard was her mother saying,

"I love you."

She bit her teeth together, closing her eyes again to prevent tears from falling and answered,

"I love you too."

The lump in her throat had never felt this heavy. And suddenly, the truth was hurting her more than the lies.

_Life fucking sucks._

*

The feeling of her phone vibrating inside of the right pocket of her jeans brought her out of her thoughts.  
She took the last book out of her locker before closing it and looking around herself to see if there were any teachers around her. When she couldn't see any, she took her phone out of her pocket and looked at it confused, wondering who would be texting her during school-time.

Just as Lauren was about to press the button, she hesitated. A nerve-wrecking thought entered her mind, causing her heart to beat faster and her body to get consumed by the panic ingulfing it.

She looked around herself again.

No one seemed to look at her or give her any kind of attention. But still, she couldn't help but wonder if- no it couldn't be them, could it?

That's when her phone vibrated again. She sighed, pressing the button when she saw the name of the person who texted her.

**Dinah, 7:42 am**  
_What did you tell your mom this time?_

**Dinah, 7:44 am**  
_I know you saw my text, Ralph. Answer me, bitch._

She sighed again, quickly typing a response.

**You nearly gave me a panic attack, idiot. I just used the puddle-trick on my mom again.**

**Dinah, 7:44 am**  
_Srsly? Does she even believe that anymore?_

**Yeah, but I need something new. She's starting to get suspicious.**

**Dinah, 7:44 am**  
_You know, I'm not even gonna say anything about that rn. You already know my opinion, girl._

**I know. I have to go to class, I'll text you later.**

**Dinah, 7:45 am**  
_Class starts in 15 minutes for you. You can't fool me ;) text me as soon as you can._

She chuckled, shaking her head lightly and putting her phone back into the pocket of her pants as she walked to the room of the class she had to attend first.

"Good morning, Lauren," her geography teacher greeted her, holding the door open.

"Morning," Lauren smiled, holding onto the straps of her backpack. One of her nervous habits. She never enjoyed talking to adults.

"We're changing seats today, because some of you have been sitting in the back row for nearly two months now. You all need to get the chance to get better oral marks, so just choose a place to sit somewhere in the middle, Lauren," her teacher told her, putting her bag onto the desk and smiling at the green-eyed girl.

"Okay, thank you."

The classroom was still pretty much empty, with only a few girls who's names Lauren couldn't remember sitting in the last row, in front of a little book shelf they put their hair brushes and some of their make-up on. As the girls noticed her looking they gave her a confused look, one of them telling the others to not pay attention to her. "Cause she's not worth it," she heard her whisper.

She sighed, deciding to sit on the right side of the middle row. Being closer to the door made her feel comfortable and she hated sitting next to a window, always shivering and having to put her jacket on when one of her classmates complained about the 'already over-used air'. It made her loose concentration. But school was important to her, so she needed to concentrate.

More and more students entered the classroom, the teacher writing something on the board to prepare the lesson.

As the bell rung and everybody went to their places to sit down, Miss Tarver opened up the class-book, starting to check off the names.

It was a certain name Lauren was waiting for, having noticed that she hadn't seen her entering the classroom.

"Cabello?"

Everyone was silent. Some of the students turned their heads to a girl sitting in the first row. When she noticed their gazes she turned her own back to the teacher, already knowing what she was going to be asked. "Dua, do you know if Camila is sick?"

"Oh, no. She didn't tell me anything so I didn't-"

The classroom door bursting open and sucking a breeze of cold air into the classroom caught everyones attention.

The brown-eyed girl closed the door, turning around with glassy eyes and a blush coating her ears and cheeks. The scarf she was wearing was so big, it nearly covered half of her face, Lauren noticed.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't hear my alarm and woke up too late," she stated nervously, sounding completely out of breath.

Miss Tarver smiled, "Typical Camila. Get to your seat and don't forget to knock before you enter the room next time."

She chuckled, breathing out a sigh of relief and walking to the desk her friends were sitting at once she spotted them. "I will, M'am."

"Okay, so let's continue..."

Lauren blocked her teachers voice out, staring at the brown-eyed girls back. Seeing her laughing at something one of her friends said, while taking her jacket off and sitting down, made the older girl feel sick.

_Love fucking sucks._

"Jauregui?"

"Yes." She turned her attention back to her teacher, raising her hand and putting it down onto her own lap again once she saw Miss Tarver ticking her name in the book.

All eyes were on her. But only one pair was the one she noticed.

And as soon as she stared back into those deep pools of brown, she lost their contact again.

_And I repeat, love fucking sucks._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it and have a beautiful day/night :)


End file.
